How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
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