Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
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she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
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Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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