just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize