It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
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