i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize