I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
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