I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Taylor Swift is so right about you.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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