Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
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