with your own penis?
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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