I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
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