Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
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