She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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