She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize