is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
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I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
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I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
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