im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize