drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize