your room smells of hookers.
And success
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
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I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
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Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
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