you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
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