i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
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I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
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You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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