Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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