all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
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There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
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And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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