So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
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i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
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Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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