So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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