I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
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