Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Blood and glitter go together right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize