We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
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