I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
smell my finger.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
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He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
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There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
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