Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
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