Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
tell me about the eggs
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize