The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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