i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
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