Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
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