She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
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