If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
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