areolas are like halos for boobs.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize