At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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