There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize