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Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
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