so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
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