Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize