You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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