im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Be still, my beating vagina.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize