i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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