chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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