One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
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