Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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