come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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