During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
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bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
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