i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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