Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
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